Collar. Dog. Slavery. You might be surprised to learn that each of these words can have several entirely different meanings, depending on the type of session and the players involved. There is no “one strategy fits all” when it comes to domming. Which is, of course, why my sessions are often full of spontaneity and surprises, today’s session being no exception.
As he presented himself naked and ready to surrender, I started by putting the collar on his neck. Something felt stiff and uncomfortable as I did it. I had no idea what it meant but trusted the flow that made me do it. We began playing. During this extended session, we explored a lot – goddess worship ritual, sensation play, mild restraints, CBT, NT, breath play, tease & denial. At the end, we got to the same place where we had started. That collar.
In the afterglow of this active playing, as I sat next to him gently touching his head and chest, he shared some personal stories of allowing others take advantage of him. “They treated me like a dog!” he said, right as I passed my hand by his neck, feeling the tightness of the collar. I felt his pain. I’ve been there too, but now I know my self-worth. I also felt his readiness to break free.
“They treated you like this because you let them. But enough is enough. Time for your to take charge of the situation. This collar is a symbol of your slavery: self-loathing, helplessness, inability to say no or stand up for yourself. As I’m about to remove it, see if you’re actually ready to let it go?”
“So as I remove this collar, you promise me you’ll never let anyone treat you like this again?”
“I promise!” he said very confidently.
I took the collar off and ordered him to always know his self-worth, to never ever let anyone put this collar back on him. Not even me. Whatever we do in our future playtime, I won’t be using collar.
Let it be so, and I’m looking forward to hearing how his life unfolds after our special time together.