Bodhi Zapha – Inner Slut
February 2019, Koh Phangan, Thailand
Ben – Exotic sounds, smells, sensuality and kink
San Francisco, September 2018
Derek – Shadow work
New York, April, 2018
There’s a word that gets thrown around a lot in the media, consensual. I feel like that word is often overlooked in any power dynamic especially when it comes to relationships or bdsm. And unless someone has gone trough a non-consensual event, they’ll truly never understand why it’s such an important word. Even still I hope and work towards nobody experiencing that pain.
When I was a kid I used to fantasize about being tied up, abused and used for another’s pleasure. It is honestly a memory I had when I still lived in the first house I lived in. Yet that was the same house I was assaulted in many times. I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself for those thoughts as well as what happened. A catholic boy, assaulted by his own family. Taught that any sex outside of marriage, even a thought was taboo.
I never thought the first session we had together would lead to that night. The session where I gave up control, no safe word, just allowed someone else to use my body. I gave control to a figure of dominance. I gave control to a figure of sexual desire. A beautiful, sexy and attractive woman, smart, demanding, yet caring.
When the blindfold came over my eyes, hands bound above my head, feet tied apart on a wobbly bench, I was entirely exposed. I created a life that I could control every aspect of, finances, events, the people in my life, the persona I people saw in me. Nobody in my life knows who I truly am, but that’s part of that childhood pain turning into control. Yet in that moment I could hide nothing. The master of disguises couldn’t hide a twitch of his body, the clenching of a muscle, nor the satisfaction I got from what was happening around and to me.
I try to be an adrenaline junkie but bungee jumping, 180 miles an hour on motorcycles, racing, sports; I knew if I trained, studied, planned and worked hard enough I could control every outcome. And I always did even down to the inch the bungee rope stretched.
I’ve met with mistresses before but never without a script or several words to outline how things felt to me. I always had the ability to control the level of pain, or the next step in the night. That night with you exposed a fear in me I didn’t have since being a little 7 year old boy laid back on that bed, not understanding or knowing what was going to happen next. Giving up control in a consensual manner reminded me that pleasure can and does come from these things as long as we understand our selves. And fear can intensify that; not just make experiences worse. Two consensual people can make fireworks.
I play that night over in my head, it was only 90 minutes but it felt like a lifetime. How 90 minutes changed my outlook on life I may never understand though it was like a rebirth. Which I find slightly ironic after the end of our session being in a body bag. No longer am I ashamed of what I enjoy. I understand myself in a way I never would have, or could have, before.
I laid on the bed that night, with you by my side, and didn’t know whether to hug and kiss you, run through the streets with ‘we are the champions’ blaring (though still nude I’m sure that wouldn’t have gone well), or cry with you holding me. I understand it probably wasn’t the same for you but that was a thin moment for me. Thin moments happen rarely in one’s life but they can shape the people we are. That night somehow, someway, pushed me over the edge of a pain driven life, to a pleasurable one.
I let an event that happened to me as a child ruin so many experiences in my life. I thought I had my life in control yet those childhood events controlled who I was, not the other way around.
We all have kinks of our own. I’m glad I got to play out some of mine with you. I hope to repeat and next time for several hours or even a day. I want to continue learning about what makes me happy, turns me on, and keeps me trying for more. Though now I don’t feel the need to create the scenario, I just want to feel it. Our lives are short, I just want to experience what life is before it’s my time.
Since we met several weeks ago many people have said I seem different. I don’t know if that’s true but I’m honestly just enjoying what’s around me instead of trying to control it. I’m also doing a lot more work with organizations to prevent childhood abuse. Being open about the events that happened to me, and gaining the confidence in myself, though maybe by unorthodox practices, has changed my perspective on life. I’m a very lucky man who has an amazing wife, a life people dream of, and has somehow gotten lucky enough to have you be a part of my life. Even if only for a few moments here and there I appreciate you and what you do.
Thanks again Rene. Our experience together is something I will never forget and look forward to more the next time I’m in town.
I guess everyone needs therapy in their own way… but I assume you don’t take my health insurance.
Carlos – You are a True Goddess
Miami, March 2018
I was lucky enough to find that Mistress Renee was going to be in the Miami area on the same days i was going to be there for a work trip. i’ve been into BDSM for several years already, having had the opportunity to session with some of the best Doms in the US, but not with Mistress Renee previously. Mistress Renee granted me the opportunity of a Dinner and Dominance session. i highly recommend this option as, when already in the session, you are no longer nervous and, by getting to know you, She tailors the session to really surrender completely to Her. After having read carefully Her website, i had decided that for the very first time i would give complete (and true) control, not putting ahead my likes/dislikes or boundaries. i just mentioned Her my weakness in order that She could use these to easily subdue me.
Mistress Renee started the session by confussing my senses, i was blindfolded and She exploited my senses with Her miraculous smell, Her hypnotic voice, and by applying pain and pleasure to my body. Soon i was in a kind of trance, i just followed Her voice. It was amazing how She controlled me and made me do things i never imagined would do, i just wanted to please Her. For the first time i was plugged and for the first time i was not allowed to cum to end the session, She told me to wait until the next day and what was incredible, is that i left Her facilities without the need of it, just thinking that i had to please Mistress Renee and not cum until the next day. i really want to be furthered trained by Mistress Renee to go back (and deeper) into that state of submission She took me into.
D – Holistic Approach to BDSM
West Palm Beach, March 2018
“You should have seen my wife’s face when i told her i was ordered to give her a foot massage . Also, i would like to share your skills are invaluable and worth hundred times more… i say this because i drink to relieve stress and i havent felt the need to drink!”
I’ve had the opportunity to see many Dommes over 15yrs and Ms. Renee is by far second to none. She is more than a gorgeous stunning Domme with a whip and she certainly is not one dimensional like others. Ms. Renee encompasses a holistic approach to BDSM as an art. From the choice of music, to the smell of the candle, to the visualization exercises, you will know she is a true professional and her priority is the client’s wellbeing. There is a metaphysical approach that I don’t fully understand yet but I know it did occur. Whether you are a visual, auditory or kinesthetic, she will take you outside your comfort zone and beyond. I left the session feeling empowered, stronger and less stress from everyday challenges. If I had to guess she has several PhDs (or at least life experience) in physiology, psychology and metaphysics. I promise that you will leave a better person. Thank you Goddess!
Ahmed – She took me to a place where I have never been before.
New York, October 2016
Last night was my first session with Goddess Renee. It was also my first time in a dungeon. My experience with BDSM was limited to fetish out calls.
I was not enjoying all of that, but gradually, I started feeling something beyond enjoyment. I felt good when she enjoyed.
I was like what??!!! I totally said in my mind that it is an end to a bad session. I will never do that, get dressed and leave immediately, and never see her again.
But.. Without any reason, I didn’t. I started fucking the floor while licking her shoes and being verbally abused, and I actually cum !!!
You were wonderful, best session of my life. Your only fourth pro Dom I have seen. I have had some extensive relationships with some amateurs. ( Girls I met that I saw, 8 – 12 times each various shopping sprees and sessions) I was kind of ‘topping from the bottom” I think with them. I have been pursuing my foot fetish for four years now, really enjoy true submission. Never have I really found what I have been looking for until today. At least 20 -25 different amateurs and the three pro’s and although some were great fun, none where exactly what I have been searching for until today. Thank you so much for taking a chance on me. I hope you are pleased and enjoyed yourself at my expense. The things you said to me right before climax are what I have ben craving to hear. That I belong to you, my possessions, my money, my credit cards, my entire life, all belong to you because you are superior to me in every way. You are prettier than I could have hoped for, you conducted the session so sensually with just a touch of wickedness at the right times which I loved. I do not know how to thank you for letting me live my fantasy with you. I beg you to let me see you again someday. Yes you can exploit me with your friends for your pleasure and for their pleasure. That would such a great adventure, to come to the city and be used by you and your friends. My life is yours now to control. Use me for whatever you need. I am your slave, for ever, or until you are done with me. Thank you oh Beautiful One, I will never forget you. It is not just your beauty (it could just be your beauty, your so hot) it is you exciting lifestyle, your personality, your intelligence. Everything about you is superior to me, you truly our a Goddess, and deserve to be treated as such. I exist in your world only to be of use to you. I hope you enjoy your trip to Europe, I hope you will remember your new foot slave when you return.
Steven – Chastity bound pet
New York, April 2014
I wanted to thank you for another perfect session and share a few thoughts regarding our times together to date. From our very first session together to our last, you have carefully pushed my limits, helped me explore new fantasies, and experience things that I have only ever dreamed of. There are several things that I feel you do exceptionally well.
First, you are the perfect mix of beauty, intelligence, dominance, creativity, and playfulness. I have enjoyed every moment with you; and, have even felt quite proud (as much as a submissive chastity bound pet could feel) with you at my side….in a bar, at a park, at a Victoria’s Secret while picking things out for me to wear. You are fun and interesting to engage. You light up a room and command attention with your presence.
Second, you are exceptional at taking a fantasy and adding your own unique spin. It is clear to that in every instance, you have carefully incorporated all my ideas, while still surprising me and building off them. For example, when I met you in the park to share my “homework”, which included humiliating videos and pictures of tasks I was previously assigned, you were able to recall every single instruction and every detail I missed. What made it perfect was when you assigned me spankings for each detail resulting in me over your knee for a good 15 minutes in front of everyone in the park.
Third, as I said, you have pushed my limits beyond my imagination. For example, after that public spanking, you attached a collar and leash and led me on a humiliating crawl in that same crowded park. With me already dressed in women’s work out clothing and toes polished, it was excruciatingly humiliating. I would never have dreamed I could do it…..but you made it a realty. You also introduced me to electro, sounds, and consuming your perfect golden nectar.
Finally, you also know just when to ease off and give me a chance to adjust to complete submissiveness. For example, I remember when we had planned to meet at a crowded bar. As agreed, I was to arrive dressed in a sexy dress, heels, make-up, and wig and wait for you, not knowing how long you might be. I arrived on time but could not bring myself to change. I sat there for nearly 30 minutes trying to push myself to do it, but to no avail. You were quite disappointed, but you knew just how to re-wrap me around your little finger; and, by the end of the evening, I left fully dressed.
I truly want to thank you for all the experiences and memories you have helped me create. You are without a doubt the best Domme that I have ever seen. I only hope that I can continue to amuse and please you, as your faithful pet.
Impatiently waiting for the next time I have the honor of kneeling at your feet….
Nigger slave – first meeting after NiteFlirt
New York, October 2013
i feel enslaved by Your voice. i love it. i feel like i could listen to You for hours. i love Your superior Russian accent. Your powerful Russian voice weakens my nigger soul.
i keep thinking about being before You, arms suspended in the air above me as You walk around me and inspect me. i think about how completely helpless i will feel as You look me over and then take my balls in Your hand and claim them as Yours.
i have thought a lot about being introduced to Your scent…i know it will leave me powerless. i have thought a lot lately about when You said You would have me hand wash Your panties….how i would have to smell each and every one first, fully taking in Your superior scent and then wash them. i know once i smell Your scent i will become Your property…i will be made completely helpless
i am so scared of You and at the same time i cannot wait to be before You. i am scared that You will wish to castrate me someday…but i want to please You and prove that i can be a good nigger
Bernie – On the edge of the abyss
New York, May 2013
It occurred to me that the three cardinal emotions of slave in training – Fear, Humiliation and Frustration – inherently contain the goals of the training: Obedience, Humility and Devotion. My fear of future punishments makes me run home to do the assignment, despite my tight schedule; the humiliation of having to expose myself plugged, pantied and chastised can only be endured if it comes from a place of real humility; the terrible sexual frustration generated by my celibacy leads me to an overwhelming need to serve, bend, kneel, beg and plead at my superiors feet… It’s an inevitable process of sublimation and transformation of negative emotions into slave virtues. It is happening to me already under Your direction.
As i nourish this thoughts, lying on my back, legs spread, my hand reaches for my testicles… Perhaps am i surprised to still find them there, all this has been so emasculating. They feel so soft, so fragile, so small and… redundant. Yet this is where the constant aching frustration is generated. Wouldn’t it be better if they were removed at this point?
Your words come to my mind: “…until you are completely broken”…
I feel like i am standing on the edge of the abyss.